Satirical website presents Donald Trump’s (fake) cover letter

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally at the Henderson Pavilion on October 5, 2016 in Henderson, Nevada. Trump is campaigning ahead of the second presidential debate coming up on October 9 with Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally at the Henderson Pavilion on October 5, 2016 in Henderson, Nevada. Trump is campaigning ahead of the second presidential debate coming up on October 9 with Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

What if Donald Trump ran for president with a job application? Seattle design studio Hum Creative imagined what an interactive version of his application might look like, starting with a cover letter. It begins “Dear America, I’m submitting my resume for commander in chief. It’s really, really tremendous.”

HireTheDonald.com, which does not take a favorable view of the candidate, continues with a fictional personal statement, skills and endorsements. Almost everything is interactive and the design is bold, with a lurid red, white and blue color scheme accompanying quotes from Trump and links to different news articles. The bottom of the website features an Election Day countdown and a message to vote for Hillary Clinton.

Drew Hamlet, lead designer at Hum, posted the site on Designer News, an online community for designers to connect. Forum members can comment and upvote posts, in a similar style to Reddit. Most commented on the design of the website, but a few voiced their concerns with its political slant.

“Really nice design and informative!” Matthew Kosloski wrote. “I like everything about this except for the Hillary Clinton endorsement at the bottom; you should not tell people who to vote for.”

Connor Norvell focused on the design aspect, commenting, “This is beautiful, regardless of your political affiliation. I love you hum.”

5 reasons former Texas Gov. Rick Perry will win ‘Dancing With the Stars’

The news that Rick Perry will compete on the upcoming season of “Dancing With the Stars” stirred up cha-cha-chatter when it was first reported Monday night, as the imaginations of politicos and average Joes alike lindy-hopped to various conclusions. Will the former Texas governor’s spin on the ABC show bring the mirror-ball trophy to the Lone Star State, or will he say adios quicker than you can say “Paso Doble”? Will Perry’s tango with the celebrity ballroom competition be a dance with disaster? Or can the most famous pair of glasses in Texas boot-scoot to victory? Will we still be able to come up with dance puns by the time the show airs?

Former Texas governor Rick Perry will pair with Emma Slater on "Dancing with the Stars, " which starts its new season on Monday, Sept. 12, 2016. (Craig Sjodin/ABC)
Former Texas governor Rick Perry will pair with Emma Slater on “Dancing with the Stars, ” which starts its new season on Monday, Sept. 12, 2016. (Craig Sjodin/ABC)

No matter your political persuasion or your thoughts on Carrie Ann Inaba’s judging abilities versus those of Bruno Tonioli, Perry’s participation is certainly a curiosity. But don’t write off the former presidential candidate’s chances just yet.

READ: Why is Rick Perry taking a turn on reality TV?

Here are five reasons Perry might beat expectations and join Bindi Irwin and Emmitt Smith in the “DWTS” hall of fame.

1. He’s been to more than a few balls: Let’s not pretend that the art of the dance is completely foreign to political life. As longtime governor of Texas (and lieutenant governor before that), Perry was no stranger to inaugural balls, even if he did try to loosen up the black ties with a Ted Nugent performance in 2007.

2. He knows how to take instructions: As Texas A&M University’s former head Aggie Yell Leader, Perry should be able to get in formation.

3. He’s got dancing shoes: Though “Dancing With the Stars” is a ballroom contest and not a televised honky-tonk, Perry’s cowboy boot collection shows he prefers his feet to be fancy. You don’t swagger around in “Come and take it” boots unless you want people looking at your footwork.

4. He’s got a sense of rhythm: As columnist Ken Herman points out, Perry is a musician, “including talent on the piano and drums.” He sang and drummed with ZZ Top in 2005, in fact.

5. He has a history of public dance performance: Need we remind you of Austin’s premiere menorah-lighting merry-maker?

On the other hand, Laurie Hernandez will definitely win.

Laurie Hernandez

This Texas woman dresses in nothing but Donald Trump’s face

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump acknowledges the crowd for singing "Happy Birthday" as he speaks during a campaign rally at the Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, N.C., Tuesday, June 14, 2016. (AP Photo/Chuck Burton)
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump acknowledges the crowd for singing “Happy Birthday” as he speaks during a campaign rally at the Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, N.C., Tuesday, June 14, 2016. (AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

They say fashion is a statement — and this Texas woman’s outfit says a lot.

Plano’s Barbara Tomasino, 66, is known for her custom-made dresses made up of images featuring presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

According to the Dallas Morning News, the die-hard Trump supporter has worn her outfits — complete with a Trumped-out purse — to each of the three campaign rallies she has attended. And at Thursday’s Trump rally in Dallas, she plans to debut her latest outfit.

“Donald Trump is the main course, and I am the appetizer,” Tomasino said to The Dallas Morning News, where you can read more about her. 

Tomasino said she just wants Trump to notice her. She even created her on Twitter account in hopes that she’ll reach him one day.

Check out this video of her by Star-Telegram at a Fort Worth rally.

 

It’s Donald Trump’s 70th birthday: Relive 12 of his weirdest moments

File- This June 11, 2016 file photo shows Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump gesturing during a campaign speech in Tampa, Fla. Trump plans Monday to further address the deadliest shooting in modern U.S. history in a campaign speech originally intended to attack the presumptive Democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton. The switch comes a day after Trump called for Clinton to drop out of the race for president if she didn’t use the words “radical Islam” to describe the Florida nightclub massacre. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara, File)
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump gesturing during a campaign speech in Tampa, Fla. on June 11, 2016. (AP Photo/Chris O’Meara, File)

Happy birthday, Donald Trump. That’s right, the presumptive Republican nominee definitely turned 70 today.

Just in case no one believes he was actually born on June 14, 1946, don’t fret. You might recall in 2013, when Trump released his “certification of birth” after comedian Bill Maher demanded to see it.

Trump’s lawyer even sent Maher this letter: 

Dear Mr. Maher:

I represent Mr. Donald J. Trump.  I write on his behalf to accept your offer (made during the Jay Leno Show on January 7, 2013) that Mr. Trump prove he is not the “spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan.”

Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump’s birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan. Please remit the $5 million to Mr. Trump immediately and he will ensure that the money be donated to the following five charities in equal amounts: Hurricane Sandy Victims, The Police Athletic League, The American Cancer Society, The March of Dimes, and The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

Regards,

Scott S. Balber

But as bizarre as that whole incident might have been, it’s pretty normal for Trump. In honor of his turning another year older, let’s take a stroll down billionaire-memory lane.

1989: “Trump has new game” the headlines once read — or at least the ones in Trump’s energetic board game commercial did. Trump: The Game, which was released that year, was the businessman’s own version of Monopoly where it’s “not what you win or lose, it’s whether you win.” Board Game Geek details how it’s played and you can buy it on Amazon. 

1992: Most everyone will remember Trump’s performance as himself in “Home Alone 2.” He runs into Kevin McCallister in the Plaza Hotel, which he still owned at the time. Would Kevin have ever found the lobby on his own?

1994: The king of cameos also appeared in “The Little Rascals” as Waldo’s rich father.

1995: If you’re anything like Trump, then you eat pizza the wrong way and are proud of it. In this Pizza Hut commercial, Trump and his then-wife Ivana approach each other in a rather sultry clip then dig into a box of a pizza — crust first, of course.

2000: Trump and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani once shared an intimate moment. Giuliani dressed up in drag then Trump kissed him on the neck and fake breasts. The grope session was part of a skit for the Inner Circle press dinner.

2001: Trump made his way back to the big screen to take a quick moment and praise the infamous model Derek Zoolander, alongside his current wife Melania Trump.

2005: Have you ever wondered what Trump sounds like when he sings? Well, here he is performing “Green Acres” while dressed as a farmer alongside Megan Mullally at the Emmys.

2007: At Wrestlemania 23, legendary “Stone Cold” Steve Austin from Austin stunned Trump. Never forget.

2007: The same year Trump was getting body slammed, he also partnered with Sharper Image to launch “Trump Steaks.” Though the business endeavor eventually fell flat, his commercial is one for the books.

2008: After four years of starring on “The Apprentice,” Trump created the popular “Celebrity Apprentice.” His catchphrase still haunts us like a reality TV show ghost: “you’re fired!” Here he is firing Kiss’ Gene Simmons.

2015:  More recently, Trump hosted an episode of “Saturday Night Live.” Though the evening was full of funky moments to choose from, watch him dance like Drake in this “Hot Line Bling” parody.

After scouring the internet, searching for Trump’s iconic moments in pop culture, I think it’s safe to say Trump has definitely lived.

Ted Cruz admits new ‘Star Wars’ movie made him cry

Capture

Whether Ted Cruz is actually the U.S. senator he says he is, or one of the many alter-egos Internet users speculate he is, the man has feelings. Feelings about “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.”

The Republican presidential candidate appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” on Wednesday to answer a few of the comedian’s pressing questions. Among them, “What is your favorite cereal?” and “Who do you like better: Obama or Trump?” In choosing between Obama and Trump, Cruz suggested he wasn’t entirely confident he wouldn’t run over Trump if given the chance, but asserted, “I dislike Obama’s policies more.” Kimmel wasn’t wowed by Cruz’s cereal of choice: Mueslix. When Cruz agreed his choice was surprising, and Kimmel might have “expected Captain Crunch,” the late-night host assured him, “No, I was expecting Mueslix.”

It was Cruz’s answer to “Which is the last movie you cried in?” that had the two very different people seeing eye-to-eye.

“I would almost say the last ‘Star Wars’ movie,” Cruz said after only a second of hesitation. “I mean, I stood in line for two hours for ‘Empire Strikes Back.’ Han Solo was my hero — I’m not going to spoil it but I’ll just say there was an image in that movie that was traumatic at a level I never wanted to see.”

“I was almost embarrassed when the tears started to well up in my eyes,” Kimmel conceded.

We’re slightly surprised it wasn’t Cruz’s own rendition of “The Princess Bride,” the senator’s favorite movie, that got those brown eyes going; especially considering Mandy Patinkin, who starred in the film, asked him directly to stop quoting it.

You can watch Kimmel’s interview below: